Dear Lys,
Today working as promoter, not so much about my true career but it stills automatically turned me to become ‘critical’ and analyze everything. I think being on a job will always sets me into a high ‘judgement’ mode. Which is true, since the whole day is gonna be boring, I think my thoughts had already over budget and running in a full speed. Good thing is that I also had a lot of revelation throughout the day.
By the way I still think about earning money a lot. Which is a good thing, because this means that I will don’t need worry about I will get really ‘lazy’. Just a few days of calming down is always enough to spike my creativity and eagerness to action.
Alright, the revelation is more about my confident (and also about the confident to be in relationship). A few funny one, where because I always had the perception where I am someone that had bad ‘桃花缘’ but then I suddenly realized I am actually the one that always have some boys around, and also really close to me(since childhood). And tbh most of my close friend is boys, girls are really very less. It just that all the time I am the one that are annoyed and try to get rid of them. So, what are the facts that I had distorted/deleted?
Also about <> (a symbol for him). Once I get the realization where I might not as unattractive than I always believe, this lead me to believe me and <> is highly possible to get together. I also recovered more sign before where his interest is legitimate.
Yesterday before sleep I try to use SATS or visualization for manifestation, but it only ends up more panick and anxiety. I think these ‘forced’ method doesn’t suits me. Today, just by being proud of myself and think I am the most potential person and the most qualified person. This feels really good. Let go of judgement and acknowledge having emotion is normal, we are all human being and I am also a girl that desires attention, affection and admiration. It’s not something immoral, I just return to our nature.
Everything is always there, and my subconscious is already agree/aligned with what I want. Just that every time when I naturally think of something good about us, my critical faculty will blocked it. In fact, tt’s already there, I don’t need to do extra visualization because everytime when I assume, the image is already there
I even access to my past life and try to find the familiar feeling when I meet him. I saw a big brother that like a role model. I though that is him. But then I try to switch, this time it feels right, the big brother is me. And everything make sense, why does he keep stumbled with elder ppl. Maybe he is just trying to search for that familiarity. And this also explain why I always feels so unfamiliar/uncomfortable to be a female role, maybe this is the reason. (Then I had an idea for my fiction story – refer notes)
After all, whether it is the truth really doesn’t matter. In my perception, as long as I believe it, it will project in my world. And I guess that every time when someone tells you that something we assume is false, that is because that is the truth in their IR, not us. IN fact, everything in this world have no ‘truth’, everytime when we heard someone reveal about a truth, that is still not truth, just because that person appeared more authoritative than us, but not one actually know the truth. I am still working on understanding the ‘self-concept’ in LOM. Anyway, I think the key is whatever we believe makes us feels good, then just believe it and wait for the fruition.
Perception is projection.
